I have a question for you…

Have you ever noticed that when it comes to OTHER peoples
relationships, everyone suddenly turns into Dick Tracy?

Just tell them what’s going on in someone else’s relationship
and they will instantly roll their eyes and say “well she’s
cheating on him” or “he’s screwing someone else”.

A funny thing happens though when it comes to your own
relationships.  People go from being “super detective” to
being deaf, dumb and blind.

The reason for this is they lack OBJECTIVITY.

They cannot look at their own relationships with any
objectivity.  They can spot someone in another relationship
cheating from a mile away, but can’t do the same with their
own.

And this is the 3rd notorious mistake people make when they
think they’re being cheated on.

You absolutely must distance yourself from your relationship
–  examine the facts — and add everything up from there.

This is also known as becoming emotionally detached.

Let me put it to you this way.

Think back to one of the happiest periods in your life — a
time where a lot of things seemed to be going right.

Now, if during that time one of your friends had come to you
to “lean on your shoulder” about some relationship problems
they were having (and as it turns out their problems are
identical to what you’re now going through), what would your
thoughts have been?

Not what are your thoughts right now, but what would your
thoughts have been about this during that happy period in
your life.

You probably would have a different opinion about your
relationship back then you do now.

You see, right now you don’t have any clarity, any
objectivity.

But you need to get it right now — and bad.

Try to look at your relationship as if it were someone
else’s.  It’s not easy to do, but everyone has the ability to
do it.

Do it, and you’ll probably be surprised at what you come up
with.

So, here are a few things to look for:

Check your cell phone bill. Often when a man is cheating, he’ll order a second cell phone you don’t know about that he can use to stay in touch with his lover. Look at your credit card statements and see if there are any unexpected charges at electronics stores. Some men will go to Radio Shack and buy a pay as you go phone. They cost about $50 – so if there is that kind of charge and you don’t see any new video games in your house, ask him about it. Whenever he’s “working late,” call him up at random times and listen to the noise in the background. If you hear bar noises or he doesn’t pick up, that’s a fair sign he’s working – on a woman! This may sound a little tacky – but if he comes home late from work, try to engage him in sex right away.  If he resists, there may be a reason for it.  If he insists on a shower first, he may be trying to get rid of the telltale odors of latex or the other woman.  If he does go for it but smells like soap, he has already had a shower and gotten rid of the evidence. Keep a close eye on him if he’s suddenly dressing better or paying more attention to his appearance. Men let themselves go when they are married, but try to spruce up when there is a new lily to pollinate. Smell his clothes when you do the laundry. Do they smell different? It’s almost impossible for a woman’s scent not to end up on his clothes if he’s having an affair. Keep a close eye on your bank account. Does he seem to take out larger amounts of cash than he used to? He may be using that money on a hotel room! Pay attention to how he makes love. If he suddenly has some new moves in the bedroom, you can be sure he has a personal trainer! When you hang out with his friends keep a close eye on how they treat you and if they seem to start making in-jokes amongst themselves. His friends will know and won’t be able to help but smirk. Check his Internet cache – most guys forget to clear this. If there are any dating sites listed or a new email account, you can bet he’s playing the field. Sign up for an Ashley Madison account. That’s where most men find women to have affairs. Create your own account – without a picture – and then search for married men in your area. If his profile comes up, he’s busted.

If you come to the conclusion that your husband is out “tilling other fields,” it is probably a good idea to hire a private detective to get the concrete evidence that you need to help you with your future plans whatever they may be.  You may choose to stay with your wandering husband but having proof of his indiscretions, gives you the upper hand in managing your relationship from here on.  It is pretty hard for him to deny photographs or videos.  On the other hand, this same evidence will prove invaluable in the event that you choose to divorce him.

Whatever you decide, take your time and think things through thoroughly.  Weigh the pros and cons of your situation and don’t let anyone persuade you to act in haste.  Infidelity does not necessarily mean the end of your relationship!

In all probability your spouse has found someone new and is having an affair on the sly behind your back. If you have any suspicions then it is time to make a check list. Look for tell tale sings and nail them on the spot.

If your spouse has suddenly begun to leave on frequent trips then make a check. It is most likely they are out of town with their new found lover. When they leave town, you should follow them stealthily and see where they are headed to and with whom.

You could trick your spouse into believing that you are leaving town for a couple of days and won’t be back in a while. You will find them calling up their lovers instantly asking them to come over.

Just lie low and keep an eye on who is visiting your home in your absence. Make those calls to your partner/ spouse while they are claiming to be working late at the office.

If your spouse says they are indeed working late then check up with other office colleagues that they are indeed working late.

The best thing you can do is follow your spouse when they leave the house and catch them red-handed. You could do this in disguise or you can have private detectives to do the job.

Carry your camera along and take pictures. They are useful evidence when you confront your spouse and they will be nailed.

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One of the surest signs that your spouse is cheating on you is the fact that he/she is no longer the loving considerate and patient partner he/she once was, but has changed into a lying; impatient and rude monster that keeps making excuses to get away from you.

If your spouse shows a suspicious phone behavior – like sneaking away to make long or furtive calls behind your back, deleting all his/her messages and call logs and even internet mail history – just so that you are kept in the dark as to who he/she is in touch with.

Does your spouse come home smelling of someone else’s perfume or cologne? Has he/she started washing his/her clothes separately – something that he/she never did before? Could be that he/she is washing away the incriminating evidence!

Is your spouse constantly going out – leaving you alone at home? You can try to track him/her down by calling the number of the friend he/she is supposed to be with.

Has your spouse suddenly have to work late at night – something he/she never had to do in the past, then you could check at the office to find out if he/she is really there.

Does your spouse avoid looking you in the eye? A shifty behavior and body language gives a person away. Look for clues that will definitely let you know if your spouse is lying.

If the answers are ‘yes’ to most of the questions above, then it is time to stop being a door-mat and feeling sorry for yourself. Be courageous and work your differences out but don’t let the lying go on.

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